Letting Go of the Fear of Being Alone

One of the hardest aspects of recovering from Narcissistic Abuse has been learning to get over the fear of being alone. Growing up as an adult child of an alcoholic father, being abandoned by my parents, the fear of being alone was instilled in me since age 4. I transferred this as a coping strategy and developed relationships with abusive and addicted personalities out of fear of being alone. This caused my own pain many times in life. Settling for abusive and toxic relationships, thinking that it was better to be with these types of people than to be by myself. When you go into a relationship out of need and fear you will end up being taken advantage of, and accepting things that damage your feelings of self worth and self esteem. This was something I did not come to terms with until after the end of my own narcissistic relationship. It all started with the firm decision I made in my own life, that I was sick of repeating a toxic cycle of toxic relationships. That I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I decided that no matter how much it hurt, I was going to sit with these feelings no matter how awful they felt. It has been tremendously painful, but also tremendously rewarding. Because now I am no longer afraid to be alone. I still get lonely don’t get me wrong but I do not need to put on a temporary band aid in the form of another human being just to make me feel better. Sitting with myself and taking the time to listen to myself has helped me to get a better understanding of who I really am and what my own needs are. For the first time in my life. I can now honor my own needs. I do not need another person to fulfill the things I can fulfill on my own. We can do hard things. And healing from this fear is one of the biggest stepping stones in recovering. One affirmation that has helped me tremendously in my own recovery has been ” My safety and security are within me.” It serves as a reminder that I only need myself to feel secure. There is so many things you can do on your own that will help you enjoy your own company. Things such as reading, writing, listening to music, going for a hike in nature, going out for Coffee, watching a movie, taking yourself out on a date, staying home and cuddling up in bed with a good book. The options are endless. Create your own list starting today of things you can enjoy doing on your own and watch yourself become that truly independent person whom you have always had inside you. It is time to find yourself and your own voice again. Take the step towards your own healing. You won’t regret becoming your own best friend.

Hugs and Healing,

Noraima Torres