Moving on After Narcissistic Abuse

At some point in our journey we become tired of the pain. Of the constant reminder that this person who promised to love you has left you devastated. There comes a point in every survivors life in which we become tired of checking up on our ex. We become tired of keeping the lines of communication open with someone who hurt us so much. Basically we become sick and tired of being sick and tired. At that point you know deep down in your gut that life will never be the same, yet you slowly become ok with that idea. You realize that constant reliving of your abusive relationship is only keeping you feeling stuck in your pain. So how do you ever get to that point if you feel stuck?

Grief and pain are not things that can be rushed. And that is the worst of it. You must be willing to feel your feelings no matter how much it hurts. You must be willing to reach deep down and not be afraid of what you find. There will come a point when you just don’t have anymore energy to give to the Narcissist and at that point you will realize that this whole journey was never truly about the Narcissist. This journey was about learning to love yourself because somewhere along the way you began to love someone else more than you. You began to place their needs and wants above your own. And that is the moment they began to take you for granted and treat you poorly.

So I want you to take this time now to focus solely on your healing. Your healing is not going to come from the Narcissist. You will never get that closure you seek from an abusive person whose sole purpose is to project their guilt onto you. From now on make a conscious choice every single day to do whatever you need to do to heal from this relationship. Do not feel guilty for putting yourself first for a change. Start each day by asking yourself “What will help me in my recovery today?” And follow your gut instincts. Take baby steps if you must, even crawl if you have to. But do start. You can and you will be happy again and you will not find joy in your Narcissistic ex’s inbox. Stop punishing yourself saying that you can’t do this or that you can’t stop yourself. Tell yourself a new story. You can do this and you have the power to stop yourself. When you flip the attention from the Narcissist to yourself, your entire life will begin to change. Things will make sense and you will start to realize that it was only about you.

Hugs and Healing
Noraima Torres